Bone Daddy's Birthday Party
by atheistbasementdragon
Summary: The Guardians of Nazarick learn that the Ainz has a 'birthday' and that it is coming up soon. Here is how they respond to that news. (Fun little One Shot I wrote just for the discord crew, thought it was time to share it).


Written by: AtheistBasementDragon

Edited by: The Usual Gang of Drunken Perverted Idiots

**AN: This one was a One Shot discord exclusive, written as part of a little writing prompt challenge, a few Overlord fan art pieces went up, and I picked two and built a story off of them. One of them was of the Nazarick denizens at a party, another was of Neia giving Ainz a coffee cup that read 'Number 1 Dad'. Just having some fun with the idea, hope you got a little laugh out of it along the way. Call it canon to the GRAU or call it noncanon, either way since it doesn't directly intersect, it's fine. :) **

It had been another fine day in the Great Tomb of Nazarick, of course from the perspectives of the denizens of Nazarick, every day was a good one as long as their lord was with them, and as long as they were able to serve him.

However, while all days were great, some days were greater than others, and the greatest of those great days were the days when Lord Ainz would deign to tell them stories of their creators. One such story detailed how the guild handled the birthday of Bukubukuchagama. "So we each used the gacha machines and took some wrapping paper and wrapped whatever we got, to give to her as presents. That is how she ended up with the watch that Aura now wears on her wrist." Ainz said reminiscently, he couldn't smile the way the twins could, but they could feel his happiness at the story.

"After that, we played some amusing games and sang Happy Birthday, and we all chipped in some of our ah, 'power' to get her a special cake in First World." Ainz said, clearly recalling the events with great fondness.

"My Lord, forgive this ignorant one, but what is a 'birthday'?" Cocytus asked innocently in his guttural voice.

Ainz touched his chin and stroked it thoughtfully, "It is like your creation days, but for us. Just as you all have one every year, so did we, it commemorates the arrival of that individual to the world." He answered simply.

The servants of Nazarick looked around at one another, there was but one question on every Guardian's mind. Albedo however, was the one to voice it.

"My Lord... my Love, when is your 'birthday'?" She asked, aghast that they had never commemorated something so important as the arrival of their lord to first world, while they got creation days every year.

Ainz reached into his pocket dimension and pulled out an item, a sheet of incandescent paper that glowed where he moved his finger over it, Demiurge saw that boxes with numbers appeared where his finger touched. "Ah, in six days from now actually, now that you mention it." He answered dismissively, tossing the item back into his pocket dimension.

The Guardians looked at one another in silent understanding and as soon as their Lord departed, they had much to discuss.

"My Lord, there is a remarkable tournament involving the Martial Lord taking place today in the empire, I'm sure the Emperor would be happy if you surprised him again, you know how he loves your unexpected visits." Shalltear said sweetly.

"You make a good point, I think I'll go see him. It has been too long." Ainz said, and a moment later the gate opened and he stepped through it. The sound of gasping could be faintly heard through the portal before it closed.

As soon as they were alone, the conversation shot into high gear.

"How could we have overlooked something so important?!" Albedo screamed, clutching at her cheeks in a horrified fashion.

"We did not know." Cocytus said with a reassuring tone that failed to reassure because he was equally convinced that they 'should' have known.

"The Supreme Ones are such a mystery, we could not have known, but we should have known to ask such a thing!" Demiurge pounded his left fist into his right hand for emphasis.

"W-Well, either way, w-we know it n-now!" Mare said anxiously, "S-So wh-what do we do?!" he asked, sounding almost scared about the question.

"We throw a party for him of course!" Aura said, popping up from her seat.

"Yes, a beautiful, elegant party fitting for the Supreme One!" Shalltear said with an arrogant and prideful voice. Aura shot a dirty look at the vampire for stealing her idea.

"No, we should put on an exhibition of combat." Cocytus suggested, fine mist shortly billowed from his mandibles.

"No! We should put on a display suitable for the Overlord of Death!" Demiurge suggested, already maliciously thinking about how many corpses would be needed to decorate the throne room.

"Sh-Shouldn't we learn m-more about h-how th-the Supreme Ones do them?" Mare asked with an uncertain voice.

That made them go quiet. "Yes, we need to research this thoroughly!" Albedo said, nodding.

"To the library!" Aura said, "Race you there!" She said and took off running.

As if to indulge one of the two youngest guardians, the rest of them went along with it, thus presenting the most unusual sight to the various maids of Nazarick, of the guardians storming down the halls as fast as their legs could carry them. Eclair took one look at the storm heading his way, realized immediately that they would not stop, and he dove into the nearest open door and shut it behind him.

"Safe... safe at last." The penguin sighed in relief. "What was that abo..." His words trailed off as he looked around. There were plush toys all around the room. Upon seeing them, his beak fell open in horror as he realized he'd just dived headlong into CZ2128 Delta's room.

"Uwah. Cute." A horrifically familiar voice spoke in a dread monotone before he was enfolded into strong automaton arms.

"No! Not you again! Not this again! Not the stickers!" Eclair squawked in terror, flapping and kicking to no effect as he heard the door lock click shut behind him. "NOT THE BLASTED STICKERS!"

Down the hall's twists and turns and teleport points, the guardians charged until they reached the library, where a proud Aura shouted, "First!" as the rest had each independently come to the conclusion that they should let the young girl guardian have the win, though a certain vampire harrumphed.

"W-We need to find books on birthdays, th-the wisdom of the Supreme Ones w-will guide us." Mare said reverentially as he reached out and began to touch the books with the devotion of a worshipper.

Titus Secundus approached in the quiet way he usually did, "They will always provide the wisdom needed." He said softly, "But what you are looking for is very broad. That said, I heard your words and understand what you seek, there is special music, and there are special artifacts and foods, and there is a subtle meaning to all things involved. Let me show you…" He said and reached for a book two shelves up above Mare's head.

"Message Pandora's Actor, he should help with this as well." Albedo said with a tone of such anxiety that she might have passed for Mare.

"It will be done." Cocytus said, and he activated the message spell.

"Why so anxious?" Aura asked as she picked up a copy of something called 'Hinamatsuri.'

She flipped through the pages as Albedo answered, "Because every year we didn't do this, marks a year of failure, we need all the information we can find, and we need it now so we can do 'this' one right. What if he grew ever more disappointed with us? What if he thought we didn't care and so decided not to care about us anymore? What if he left?!" Albedo's voice went from anxious to panicked as she constructed ever worse scenarios in her mind, there were no answers forthcoming, but they flipped through documents all the faster, and when the gravity of the matter was explained to Pandora's Actor, he was no less swift than the rest of them.

"This one has one." Aura announced with a grin.

"Th-This one too!" Mare said as he held up a copy of 'Stein's Gate.'

"This one tooooo!" Pandora's Actor held up a copy of 'Tenchi Muyo!' above his head in triumph as though it was a trophy.

"Less posing, more reading." Demiurge said in rebuke as he flipped through an encyclopedia.

One by one they scoured the library for information on birthdays and how they were to be celebrated, finding wildly varying information. From 'Mayo Chiki' to a recording of 'Happy Birthday' they learned all they could, and the more they learned, the more they argued.

And the more they argued, the more upset they became. But never did they argue more than over what to do than how to handle the issue of presents.

"How do we give something to someone who owns everything?" Shalltear said with frustration as she put all their frustrations into a sentence with accidental perfection.

This had them feeling somewhat sullen for a moment, the impossibly powerful gacha machines were beyond their reach, the books all contained vast but varying and seemingly conflicting wisdom on what to do. It was all troubling.

However, little by little, they began to hammer out small details, and they agreed to work in shifts, settling upon the sixth floor for the party since it was where Bukubukuchagama's party had been held, and Lord Ainz had clearly enjoyed it.

Shalltear volunteered to decorate. "I will do a most eloquent job of course!"

"I will assist the noble Lady Shalltear! For I have the finest treasures of Nazarick, including mystical items that will be useful in decoration!" Pandora's Actor declared with a flourish gesture as he pointed to the diminutive vampire.

"I will arrange for an acting troupe to put on a show." Cocytus said thoughtfully.

"I will see to the music." Demiurge said with a wicked and sadistic smile.

"We'll handle the food!" Aura said with a hungry smile.

"Oh-OK." Mare said as he twisted his staff in his hands.

"I'll... think of something." Albedo said with downcast eyes.

That was how the next few days went, with the guardians all working in secret shifts, while Albedo struggled to find something to do herself, she spent hour after hour pouring through the library, and nothing seemed good enough or it was related to something the others were already doing.

Finally... something came to mind, and she had a gate opened for her on the morning before the party.

Ainz was in the throne room alone when Mare came to see him on the day of the planned party, it was strange that none of the guardians were there, their timing was always impeccable, a sense of dread filled him and continued to build. 'Did I do something to finally disappoint them?' He wondered, 'Have they lost all faith in me?'

It was a lifeline when Mare appeared. "M-My Lord, c-could I ask you t-to come to the sixth floor?" He asked in his nervous little voice as he fidgeted anxiously with his staff.

"Of course Mare, right now?" Ainz asked indulgently.

"Y-Yes, My Lord. It is, ah, important." He said sincerely.

So off they went, curiosity and dread filled the Sorcerer King at such an unusual event, until at long last they arrived on scene, and Ainz felt his jaw drop as he saw the many decorations abounding, golden ribbons, streamers, bows, and a large sign floated around, the sign read, "Happy Birthday, Lord Ainz!" in very large, glitter letters. Off to one side, Demiurge stood with a group of people dressed in the finest clothing and arranged like a chorus. Cocytus had another group of humans behind him looking at once eager and nervous. Aura stood by a large table filled with various foods that Ainz recognized as being common on Earth, and Mare rushed to join his sister. Albedo's absence however, was noteworthy.

However, before he could ask, a chorus of 'Happy Birthday' rang out from those who were present.

"I would ask what this is, yet... I don't think I need to, it seems you all remembered what I mentioned before." Ainz said with amusement.

"May I, My Lord?" Demiurge asked.

Ainz waved his hand towards him, indicating he should proceed, and Demiurge began to play the role of conductor, and the humans assembled sang a beautiful, perfect rendition of 'Happy Birthday' from start to finish.

When they were done, the humans standing there looked incredibly hopeful and incredibly fearful.

"Very, very well done." Ainz said and applauded, relief flooded human faces.

"Where did you find such talented singers?" Ainz asked curiously.

"They were among the prisoners I held for use, I offered them freedom and memory erasure if they performed a perfect rendition of the sacred music and lived up to your expectations. Have they earned your favor, my lord?" Demiurge asked, one eye on the humans who leaned forward ever so slightly, fear tight over their hearts.

"Yes, yes they have." Ainz said with an emphatic nod.

Tears of happiness ran down the faces of the humans. "I'll see to them at once then, My Lord, and return before the cake is cut."

Ainz nodded in approval, and then Cocytus presented his actors, they performed a brief play detailing his arrival in the New World and his many victories over his adversaries, it wasn't entirely accurate from his memories of the events. But... it did show how the Guardians saw it, and that was entertaining and enlightening in its own right. When it was done, Ainz praised the performers and they were handsomely rewarded before being shuffled off.

Shalltear and Pandora's Actor approached. "D-Do you like the decorations?" She asked in a small, vulnerable voice.

"Very much." Ainz said gently.

"Th-they were the work of Pandora's Actor and myself. We couldn't think of what to give you, as you own everything we are and the whole of the tomb, and the world is yours, so we gave you the fruit of our service, to show what you meant to us." She said, looking down in embarrassment.

"It was a wonderful gift." Ainz said, "I'm very pleased." He said with genuine happiness.

"Danke Mein Vater! Das vas mein greatest work, to make you proud!" Pandora's Actor rendered a dramatic salute, and this time, Ainz chose not to correct him.

"But where is Albedo?" Ainz asked curiously. "Did she not wish to come?" He asked.

"She was getting something special, I think." Aura said, and then at that moment a gate opened up, and out of it, Albedo stepped, but with one more person walking behind her.

It wasn't evident who was behind the tall beauty thanks to her wings flapping at her sides with a kind of trembling anxiousness, until she stopped in front of him and folded her hands demurely in front of her.

From behind her, the visitor stepped forward, and Ainz recognized her immediately. How could he not recognize the human warrior woman who called him father, and who he called 'daughter'. She was holding something in her hand, a small box wrapped with a little red bow.

Before Ainz could say anything, Neia held it out, her terrifying eyes looked a little nervous as she did so, like a child giving a gift to a parent, unsure if the parent will approve.

He took the box in his boney hand and then tugged gently at the ribbon at the top with two fingers, it came undone and the top came off instantly. He reached within and found a homemade cup, one shaped for hot drinks, one that on Earth was referred to as a 'coffee cup' painted by hand on the side were the words, 'Number One Dad'.

Ainz reached out and patted Neia's head. "I love it." He said.

Then Albedo spoke, "My Lord, I wanted to get you the world because you deserve no less, but that is already yours, I wanted to find something amazing, but all the treasures of Nazarick make anything already out there, pale in comparison. So I searched the library to find any hint of anything worthwhile, and found, at first, nothing. Then I stumbled upon a piece of ancient wisdom from the Supreme Beings." She bit her lip and looked at him for permission to continue.

Ainz raised his chin slightly, indicating she should go on.

"It said that a birthday party isn't really for the person whose birthday it is, it is a celebration of what they mean to everyone else, the way they make our lives better, it is there to show someone how much they matter, and the gifts are there only as tokens to represent that. So I traveled to find your daughter, and we worked together to make that." Albedo gestured to the cup, "I found it mentioned many times in the works of the library as a gift made by loved ones, for beloved commanding fathers."

"Did I... make the right choice?" Albedo asked.

Ainz was quiet for a moment, and then setting aside the gift, he reached out and embraced them both. "You did." He said.

He could hear Neia's excited 'Squeee!" in his robe.

Albedo's moans of lustful ecstasy were a disconcerting opposite.

Shalltear limited her reaction to trembling, but chimed in as if to compete, "May I offer you a place to sit, My Lord?" She had a look of perverted desire etched on her face, with a wide loose grin and glassy eyes, and her 'trembling' became one of anticipation and desire on its own.

To avoid immediately answering her, he leapt at the opportunity when Aura and Mare spoke up.

Aura and Mare looked at one another. "Kinda puts all this food to shame." Aura said.

"Nonsense!" Ainz said loudly as he looked at the twenty piles of pancakes, the boxes of donuts, the mountain of meat, the mass of muffins, the tubs of ice cream and the crates worth of cupcakes. "Everybody eat up! Enjoy, I couldn't be happier." He said proudly as the plates began to get passed around and the Guardians all fell to talking and praising their lord and one another's efforts.

"Best. Birthday. Ever." Ainz said enthusiastically.

"Wait till next year! We'll top ourselves!" Demiurge said as he reappeared.

'Uh oh.' Ainz thought, then dismissed the thought, Aura was lighting candles on a stack of pancakes, apparently not having realized there was a difference between that and birthday cake.

"M-Make a wish, L-Lord Ainz." Mare said happily with a fragile smile.

Inspiration struck, "I wish to do it just this way again next year, only next time... invite all the residents of Nazarick too! It wouldn't be complete without them." Ainz said, finally thinking he'd preempted his guardians' overzealousness, and he gestured for Albedo and Neia to blow the candles out for him, given his lack of breath.

No sooner than they'd done so, than a cheer echoed out and another rendition of happy birthday began to pick up.


End file.
